| long time no see |
[16 Nov 2004|11:37am] |
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hey every1 whats happening??ntta whole lotta here. just been partying since fricken friday. friday drank went to the drag show at r's and the went home, sat went to my friend dj's and partied ad then sunday night partied and met some cute guys, monday hung out all day at dj's apartment w all mine n ashleys new guy friends and then later monday night drank again. im definately not wanting anymore until this weekend so i guess im not an alcoholic if i dont even want any for a few days.lol. well right now i just got up and am hungry so im gonna get going and go eat me some food. ttyl.
amy
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| hey hey |
[07 Nov 2004|02:53pm] |
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hey everybody what sgoin on. well lemme updat from friday night and sat night. friday night hung out w janelle n her friend alan.we went to the gh show. lots of hott guys there n the bands i did hear were good. after i got a smoothie!yum. i love smoothies!!. then we went to mouth cemetary before taking alan home and man was it scary shit. then we were going to go to some building that use dto be abandoned but it didnt look abandoned anymore. next weekend we are suppose dto go to mouth again and ggo farther in the cemetary. yay. i love to be scared!. well saturday night was soo much fun. it was what i needed for a long time. me n ashley went to our friend randys house n met some cool people and had a blast then went to r's bar n i met some more new people to chill w and i danced my ass off all night and had so much dang fun. i love to party!!! now i am just sitten on my butt relaxing. i have a long day tom. me n ashley have to go to mcc to talk about stuff w the people and then we have to call places back we applied to. if u know anywhere that is hiring lemme know!!!. then we have avon to do. does anyone know anyone that would like some avon stuff. theres a lot of really cool things!!
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| an emptiness |
[05 Nov 2004|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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hey what sgoin on??nmh. well today i got to sleep in a little and same with yesturday. it was nice being able to relax even though i really shouldnt be relaxing. i should be workin my ass off trying to find a job but ive tried really hard this week and i need a break until next week. it sux being up here without a job. i like this town a lot. it feels like home and its different from where i was livin in virginia. there r a lot of freindly people here n its fun here. i love going to r's bar(the gay bar) and yes i am bisexual.lol. an i love hangin out w new people and drinkin and partying. its a lot of fun. but id be able to have more fun if i had a job and was making my own money and could pay off the many bills i owe. everydayi try to keep a smile on my face but its getting too hard to do it all the time when so much more keeps building up inside. i have so much going on in my head. its mixed up w hurt,confusion,emptiness,loneliness. i thought i was in love w this person i met a month ago. i enjoyed being around them all the time an cuddling w them and being around them. then a lot of stuff starte dto happen and other people getting upset about us wanting to be together and friendships couldve been ruined, so it just kinda fell apart and i feel like that person just dropped me just like that. i know we both felt something strong for eachother but i think that person was just too scared and my feelings for that person have not changed which is hard. they have found someone else but i know its only to get their mind off of me. should i talk to them or write to them so they know my feelings on the whole thing?? i mean we had something so great than it just dropped just like that. like a tornado destroying a hapy home. than i sont have a job and now i feel so alone without that person. i feel really alone. i miss them so much. we still see eachother but we both dont look eachother in the eye at all anymore and when we hug hello or goodbye its really short. and we dont really even talk. its sad. i hate it. i want it to be back to the way it was before.i feel so empty.
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| one great song |
[02 Nov 2004|11:48pm] |
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Screaming Infidelities..
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
& this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone & you're not discreet.
You make sure I know, who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again.
There is not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it
"I will love you always & forever"
As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out,
but as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone making out
I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending.
I'm missing you bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to sleep.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
Taking it's wear.
.back..
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| falling alone |
[02 Nov 2004|10:07pm] |
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hey whats goin on??nmh. well this is my firstest entry ever. so i dont have a clue what to write. i want to be downstaurs watching gothika because its a very awesome movie. and i love movies! but im up here doin other shiznit. today has been a very relaxing day for me. lately ive just been runnin around doing too many things at once and trying to hang out w too many people in one day. this past weekend was stressful but releiving of a lot of things. got too wrapped up in ling someone i couldnt be with and who wante dto be w me but couldnt because a hwole friendship w someone else would me ruined then they try to say they just want to be friends and its true though because i want that person in my life and i know i can do withouth them in more than a friend way. so now i am yet agaian waiting for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet. im so tired of looking. i dont want to be alone. i know i can go on myself but i dont want to be alone. id like someone to be there when i fall and id like there to be someone besdie me at night because i feel safer and not alone. well i still ahve mor life ahead of me and thats how im going to live. im going to live as if each day is my last. some people dont though and hide the truth and get too caught up in things to realize any day could be their last. well i gtg. im falling down alone yet again.
crazy grl
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[02 Nov 2004|08:58pm] |
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-my journal.-
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